A number of
factors can contribute to the "holiday blues," including stress,
fatigue, troubled family relationships, loss of a loved one, lack of
sunlight, images in the media, unrealistic expectations and
financial constraints. These factors may lead to feelings of
sadness, loneliness, stress, anger or tension. There may be changes
in sleep patterns, a lack of energy, headaches, agitation, anxiety,
diminished interest in favorite activities, or excessive drinking,
eating and feelings of guilt. While others may not feel as fulfilled
as one would wish, others get stuck in the blame game, comparing
themselves with others and indulging in a pity party “They all look
so happy and prosperous why can’t I be, what’s wrong with me?”
Emotional
pain is part of being human and we want to be aware of and feel our
emotions. Learn from them and let them go. Experts tell us that
depression is often frozen anger or grief. You may want to be aware
of the symptoms of “depression” and know when you need to get
medical help. You can do an on-line self-help test to see where you
are. There are several quizzes -
Self Assessment Quiz
at
www.journeyofthehearts.org/jofh/selfdep.htm
and the
Wakefield Questionnaire
www.journeyofthehearts.org/jofh/sakefield.htm
available at Journey of the Hearts online healing place. This site
is helps those visiting to assess their level of depression.
Here are some coping
strategies for dealing with the blues. Remember to make up your own
list that you can have on hand and ready to refer to whenever you
recognize the feelings of the “Blues” surfacing. Do something on
your list and if it doesn’t work try another on the list. If you get
to the stage where nothing seems to be helping it’s time to consider
an assessment for depression.
1. Choose to surround
yourself with supportive and positive people and limit as much as
possible your time with negative family, friends or colleagues. If
this is difficult choose to change the subject to one that is
positive. They will soon get the message or back off. Remember
misery loves misery!
2. Give. Yes go give your
time and help at a charity or nursing home. It’s amazing how much
better you can feel when you give of yourself and help others who
are less fortunate than yourself. This is also a wonderful way to
rekindle the true spirit of Christmas with the act of selfless
giving.
3. If feeling lonely, look
at ways to make new friends – join a new club, organization, sports
group or self help group or group of interest eg. Knitting, book
reading, bicycling, bush walking. Do something you haven’t before.
Extend yourself to make new friends. But find something that you
have an interest in.
4. Set healthy limits when
socializing or attending work or family functions. Make a deal with
yourself, for example, to have one small slice of cake and one
alcoholic drink and avoid the rounds of nibbles. Give yourself
strategies you can put into place when out so you don’t offend your
host and don’t overindulge so you feel fatigued and heavy.
5. Set realistic goals and
expectations for the holidays. You don’t have to say yes to every
invitation. You don’t have to have all your friends over for dinners
and parties. Set up a budget and plan ahead with a to do list for
each month leading up to the holidays so you wont be overwhelmed
when they arrive. Think about and write a list of gifts that don’t
involve money such as time, support and sharing of memories such as
visiting a relative, sharing photos and memories, reading an
inspirational Christmas story with your family each night.
6. Try a new practice to
overcome harsh self criticism. Sit, close your eyes and think about
a part of you that you find hard to accept or find yourself
criticizing. Think of someone that you admire or respect. Visualize
them fully accepting you just the way you are, forgiving you for not
accepting yourself and telling you you are ok. Then think about the
gift in this learning. Ask yourself how it can make you into a
better person by accepting and loving this part of you. What is it
wanting to teach you about life – look for the positive – it will
heal you and make you stronger.
7. Learn how to meditate it
can be a good way to get in touch with feelings and a way to release
stress in the body and mind. You can start now even by closing your
eyes and deeply breathing for 5 -10 minutes each day and watching
your thoughts and allowing them to drift off.
8. Find joys to uplift you. Write out a list of things that you
remember to be pleasurable. For example it could simply be making a
hot chocolate and sipping it as you, take time out and watch the
birds in a tree for 5 minutes. It may be watching a funny movie,
playing a piece of uplifting music or reading a chapter from a
favorite inspirational book.
9. Take up some form of exercise. Experts now tell us that some form
of movement 30 minutes four to five times a week can be an effective
anti-depressant. Try yoga, an exercise class at a gym, join a
walking club or just commit to turn off the TV and go for a vigorous
walk each night. Try different types of exercise until you find one
your like then commit to it each week. Not only will you feel better
emotionally but you will be physically healthier too.
10. Practice gratitude. Value your life, your experiences and the
people around you. When you walk remember all that you have to be
grateful for and remember to be grateful for the time you have had
with loved ones you may have lost this year.
So don't despair, there is help and strategies. Remember if
you feel stuck get professional help. There is no need to be
feeling alone there is an array of help for you. Google
depression, self help or
speak to your local doctor, social worker or counselor who
can give a guiding hand.
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