The Family Yak

Hi Dear Friends!
 

"Many women are asleep until something devastating happens!" Christine Arylo
 

I want to share with you some fascinating insights that were shared while I was interviewing Christine Arylo MBA, a self-love expert, inspirational catalyst for women and author of 'Choosing ME before WE - The Every Woman's Guide to Life & Love'. In case you missed the show here is the direct link: http://thefamilyyak.com/?p=371

Christine shared that if she new the insights in her book years ago:

1. She wouldn't have had to go through the deep emotional turmoil and pain earlier in her personal life and those that learn these insights won't have to either!

 2. She said it felt like she was run over by a truck the kept backing up and running over her again and again. She believes she would have made better choices.  Now she wants to share her stories and insights with other woman so they too can make better choices in their lives.


What she discovered:
- When she was working in her corporate job she noticed she was surrounded by smart fantastic career professional women who were miserable whether married or not. She discovered that a lot of women were lying to themselves. Women want to be loved but there is work to be done emotionally. Self love is not taught by our mothers and we don't teach our daughters. Cycles get passed on.

- You need to fall in love with your self first. Is this narcissistic? Look up the dictionary and definition of ‘self love' is narcissism! This explains a lot. We never tell anyone we love ‘don't love yourself' that's selfish. We know the more you love yourself the better life will be, the better you will be for the people in your life. Yet we tell ourselves all the time not to love ourselves because that is selfish and we do this by the way we act, by with the choices we make and the way that we settle in our lives and in our relationships.

- You have to fall in love with yourself every day for the rest of your life. Know who you are, trust what you feel inside and put your happiness first. Make it a priority and say that you will never settle for less. You must learn how to respect yourself. It's not instant pudding - you cannot do 3 steps and bingo life changes - it doesn't work like that. Our culture of instant gratification sets us up to fail if we take on this type of thinking.

- Women have been trained from generation to generation to give, and give and give and we never get deposits. We have to take care of ourselves, respect ourselves and be our own best friend first.

- Are you looking for Mr Right? The best thing you can do is STOP looking for Mr Right and get right with yourself first. You have to be a healthy you for a healthy he to show up. Get clear what do you want from your life regardless of who is in your life. What is the relationship I want that will make my life better and what would it look like and who would be that person that I would have that relationship with.

Start with the life you really want, then the relationship that supports it and then the person.

You must know this:
Remember the law of attraction will kick in - if you have an unhealthy you (emotional, physical, mental, spiritual health), you'll attract an unhealthy he and you'll have an unhealthy we.

- Is love enough to stay in a relationship? Many would like to believe that it is and it actually keeps many in a relationship long past the date when the relationship should be over. Love takes trust, friendship, deep connection, intimacy and respect. Many say I love him so I'll work harder and it doesn't work. You fall out of trust, friendship, respect and intimacy - you don't fall out of love. These are things that affect the relationship and that we fall out of. You can get these things back but it won't be easy.

- Christine says that many woman settle for ‘The half relationship' the business relationship that works well like a business partner - finances, the 2.5 kids. etc. We end up living with a business contract partner and we end up lonely - the deep connection gets eroded - the spiritual emotional part gets lost. Often we are so busy and we don't notice it is eroding or we do notice but don't know what to do about it.

- The biggest lie woman tell themselves:
‘I can fix him - he will change for me'. It's a dangerous lie. No one changes for anyone else unless they want to change. Facing your own demons is hard work and no matter how much you plead and want to help if they do not want to chance and do the work they will not. You cannot fix another person. If you are trying to fix someone else you are most probably avoiding a hard truth - you are finding a convenient distraction to avoid fixing yourself. You are avoiding you.

- Christine talks about in her book 5 vows you need to make to yourself. One is unwavering uncompromising honesty. Ask what am I not being honest about, what am I afraid of, what am I really feeling. Look at your partner and be honest about who they are right now and not what their potential is. You cannot be with someone because you see the possibility in someone. Be honest with yourself about who they are right now.

- Intuition is a woman's best friend according to Christine. She will never lie to you. Most women have gagged and kicked her to the curb because we have been conditioned that logic is king or we have been listening to our fears which are stronger than our intuition. Intuition is a process that you have to start to connect to. Most women are not using it. There are women in her book who woke up on their wedding day and a voice said no and yet they went ahead or they had terrible stomach pains which is a way our bodies tell us ‘don't do this'. Your intuition comes in many forms. ‘Are you Psychic' is a great book Christine recommends on how to get in touch with your intuition. Christine also has some great exercises and insights in her book too.

- You can start by noticing your feelings and listening to your sixth sense. Christine likes to do things like when the phone rings she asks herself should I answer it or not. She plays a bit of game sometimes with it. Christine says that the wisdom she gets from her intuition is more valuable than the 80,000 she spent on her MBA!

- As Christine wrote this book she lit a candle and said a prayer "Please let these words touch the heart and soul of at least one woman so she may have the love that she desires in her soul."

- Unfortunately many woman are asleep until something devastating happens in their lives and they don't know who they are, what they want and are not living their lives. Decide that this is the day that you are going to fall in love with yourself. There are a lot of old beliefs like ‘I have to sacrifice myself in order to be loved' we need to change it to ‘the more I honor myself, the more sacred I treat my body and soul the better my life will be and the better that I will be as a daughter, mother, wife and friend.'

- Never again settle for anything less than what your heart and soul desires. Make that promise to yourself that you will never settle for anything less and believe that you deserve it and can have it and figure out what it is so you can hold it. Connect to your heart and soul not your head and your fear, ego and pocket book - there is no happiness there.

The Challenge:
To be, love & live my most real,
wise self for the rest of my life.

To settling, apologizing, sacrificing, playing small, and participating in any relationship, thought, belief, or activity that doesn't fully 100% honor the beauty, power and sacredness of my soul.

My thoughts:
Whether you are a woman or a man I believe we need to love and honor ourselves first so we are not vulnerable to settle for what we know in our hearts is a compromise. I know I have done this in the past and it was only through self discovery, insights and doing a lot of reading and work on myself though listening to great mentors (people like Christine) that I changed the tracks of my mind and started transforming my life.
When we change ourselves, we change our world and The World!
We ripple out energy every day. Ask yourself - am I rippling positive happy energy to my loved ones, work colleagues & community or am I not standing in my truth and present grumpy, snappy, negative etc! You are either light and joyous with energy or heavy and negative!

The choice is yours! It takes courage, action and work. We are not born with this knowledge - be courageous and change your life with action today to learn, discover and put into practice something new!

FREE - Self Love Kit for women:
www.madlyinlovewithme.com


Listen to the Podcast:
In case you missed this great podcast show here is the direct link: http://thefamilyyak.com/?p=371

Enjoy!
Would love to hear your thoughts too!

Mrs Claus
"Conversations with Mrs Claus"
Inspirational Podcast Show:
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